Ahhhhh!

Well I finally figured out why my hair has been falling out and I mean seriously falling out. No, no it's not the radiation treatment. It does have something to do with a little test I took last night though! Which explains not feeling so good the last two weeks. I mean seriously not feeling so good. AHHHHH!!! I'm scared out of my mind... but really, really excited too. It's all so crazy though I can barely process. Work has been crazy today. I can't concentrate at all. I just keep looking down at my stomach. I even wore the maternity pants I bought today even though I don't need them yet. I certainly didn't think I'd be using them for quite some time. Life is just going to be so different, I mean, if I even make it full term. Almost half the people I know had a miscarriage the first time so I don't even know whether to be really excited or not. I know I'll regret this later but I'm kind of bummed to find out some people don't even start showing until they are five months or more. I sort of feel like if this thing is growing inside me I should have something to to show for it, you know? What's really funny is that I can't even tell if I have cravings or not because i already have such weird food choices anyway. Do you even get cravings right away? I don't know ANYTHING! How do you tell people this kind of news, seriously? Well, I guess you guys know now. Ahhhhh!!! Don't say anything though cause I still have to go to the doctor and have the real test done. So it could have been a bad test anyway, right?