Craft Mission

I think I had my first panic attack yesterday. According to Wikipedia: (My symptoms are bolded.)

Panic attacks are sudden, discrete periods of intense anxiety, mounting physiological arousal(?), fear, stomach problems (spastic colon) and discomfort that are associated with a variety of somatic and cognitive symptoms.[1] The onset of these episodes is typically abrupt, and may have no obvious triggers. Although these episodes may appear random, they are a subset of an evolutionary response commonly referred to as fight or flight that occur out of context. This response floods the body with hormones, particularly epinephrine (adrenaline), that aid in defending itself from harm.[2] Experiencing a panic attack is said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences of a person's life.[2](I don't know about this part though)

According to the American Psychological Association the symptoms of a panic attack commonly last approximately ten minutes. However, panic attacks can be as short as 1–5 minutes, while sometimes panic attacks may form a cyclic series of episodes, lasting for an extended period, sometimes hours. Often those afflicted will experience significant anticipatory anxiety and limited symptom attacks in between attacks, in situations where attacks have previously occurred, and in situations where they feel "trapped". That is, where escape would be obvious and/or embarrassing.

Panic attacks also affect people differently. Experienced sufferers may be able to completely "ride out" a panic attack with little to no obvious symptoms or external manifestations. Others, notably first-time sufferers, may even call for emergency services; many who experience a panic attack for the first time fear they are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.[3]

Also, I was sweating profusely and my left hand shook uncontrollably (side to side about three inches)

In chapel the morning of the man talked about self worth. In different points of his life his self worth was divided between different areas.

To be honest I think this is my break down of where I get my self worth:

Being a good wife, sister, leader and housemate 25%
God 10%
Getting straight A's 40%
Impressing all the translators and peers I respect10%
Exercising and being healthy 15%

So, this is totally pitiful and most likely the cause of the breakdown. (Did I mention it happened in my professor's office?) Thankfully, as my sister reminded me with a lovely phone call last night at midnight, "It's a new day!" God's mercies are new every morning. I am surrounding my incredible people who constantly blow me away. I cannot fathom how much I am loved. God, you are so good.