Friday, November 4, 2011

Hello in there?

My bump is getting quite... erm... bumpy? No.  Not the right word.  It is, however, delightful. All the time.

In other news, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, but I have never gone through each day with nearly has much overwhelming joy.  I don't really spread this.  I just keep it between myself and the belly and the hubby.  Totally. Selfish. I just want to be a Mother.  Now, I'm an experienced wanter.  I want this. I want that.  I used to want that.  I still want that.  I probably always am going to want that even though I'm never going to get it.  This is different.  This want affects all other wants.  I feel like I have direction but I'm just not sure what that means.  Every thought is balanced by the hope I have in this strange thing growing inside of me.

I like my job. I like the place I live. I like life right now.  Would I mind changing all that?  Nope.  All of it is stressful and another thing that requires my attention. Maybe life is just stressful? My ideal place on the planet right now is one where I just sit and stare at this new little life and provide love along with my best with the man I love.  I don't even care what happens.  I just want that moment.  Even if that moment is in a dirty house, with papers that need graded, dishes that need unloaded, clothes that need folded, a craft business that needs to be run, I want that.  I want to know what kind of woman I really am.

Somedays, life is so weird. Praise GOD.

4 comments:

  1. Linnea, I am so proud of you for the young woman you have become. I know you will be exceptional mama and I am definitely thinking PINK!

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  2. Even with an un-finished bathroom...

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  3. Always with an unfinished bathroom! Hah.

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